life sucks

..Life can be a mother--.. Personally i'm not going through hella ish at this moment, but i have. can't go on and on about how much pain and troubles i've gone through kouz it's probably not a lot compared to other people. Life can either bring you up or kick you in the ass.. I've gone through stupid boy problems, drama, the loss of family, maybe not a close friend but i've lost a couple and it does suck ! but whatever, you get me right? A tragic death can actually teach a lesson. Maybe to live life to the fullest, or not to take anything or anyone for granted. It's a cycle, you're born, you live your life, then BOOM you're dead. As a Christian and losing people who are Christian, its actually just a celebration of life. I think it's because you've lived your purpose. Maybe that's why I'm doing pretty good. I want to live my purpose here on earth so I can die already... kouz " What does this earth have for me that heaven doesnt ?"... I found out it was to save. My purpose here on life is to advertise and show people the path that leads to God. Maybe it's being a good influence, or just inviting a friend to bible study....Before i understood what my purpose here on earth was, I can honestly say there were times where i felt like crap. Wanted to be a bad ass and drink my problems away, or smoke it off, maybe even add a few cuts here and there. But that was before I really wanted to give my life up to God. I realized there is more to life than just my problems and being a rebellious bad ass. I can't say that I'm the best role-model for being a Christian, but I'm stil trying. It's hard balancing up my life and choosing the right kind of friends. Especially choosing the kinds of guys I want to date. I've gone through being cheated on, played, taken advantage of, whatever.. if you know me that well, you know a few of my stories..As good as having a boy on the side sounds, it can seem absolutely great; but really there's so many strings attached to it. I'm not trying to say " BOYS ARE BAD, I SHOULDN'T DATE EM !" I just need to be serious about them. Choose wisely because I know boy's arent a priority, just an accessory. It's hard being patient but if I have enough faith to carry on, I can do it with God's help.

Thank you, Lord!