blessed

Today is Christmas EVE ! yaaay ! I feel excited, but not really. I dont entirely feel the Christmas spirit that I felt when I was younger. I frickin' miss that feeling though ! Opening ONE gift on Christmas Eve, Reciting a Bible verse just to get money from Grandma, All the Cousins singing Christmas songs. Urggh ! It's too bad that we've all grown older and we rarely do those traditions anymore; but I'm glad that this year on my de la Pena side we're going to be doing questionaires with all the girl cousins so we can grow closer and i guess ahha let out what we have to say I guess or tell each other how we feel about some people. LOL ! idk, i hope its nothing bad though. OH ! and we're doing Gingerbread houses again. I'm happy because this is my familiy's first time doing it. Booooo !! We didnt do it the first time because we went to RENO for the Holidays. who SKIPS Christmas and goes to Reno ? I know I was being pretty bitchy and what not but it was just because I was so used to having my WHOLE family with me on christmas and being loud instead of watching tv in a hotel room. Hhaha. This year is coming to an end pretty soon. Man, it went by SO FAST ! i was just looking at 2007 New Years Photos and I was like MANN ! that didn't even feel like that was last year. haha I can say this year has been good to me. God has blessed me with everything I need. I've grown closer to God, I've grown closer to my parents, and School's going GREAT ! I 'm glad I persued most of my new years resolutions. haha the only thing that was left out was " being a better violin player" luckily, I quit ! :D oh and the whole boy part. Ehh ! its whatever.. I need to be patient though, I know that God knows my life and has a perfect timing for EVERYTHING. well It's already like 630 and I still need to take a shower and get ready ! haha I'm sure i have enough time though because my mom is still cooking. Well HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE !(:

life sucks

..Life can be a mother--.. Personally i'm not going through hella ish at this moment, but i have. can't go on and on about how much pain and troubles i've gone through kouz it's probably not a lot compared to other people. Life can either bring you up or kick you in the ass.. I've gone through stupid boy problems, drama, the loss of family, maybe not a close friend but i've lost a couple and it does suck ! but whatever, you get me right? A tragic death can actually teach a lesson. Maybe to live life to the fullest, or not to take anything or anyone for granted. It's a cycle, you're born, you live your life, then BOOM you're dead. As a Christian and losing people who are Christian, its actually just a celebration of life. I think it's because you've lived your purpose. Maybe that's why I'm doing pretty good. I want to live my purpose here on earth so I can die already... kouz " What does this earth have for me that heaven doesnt ?"... I found out it was to save. My purpose here on life is to advertise and show people the path that leads to God. Maybe it's being a good influence, or just inviting a friend to bible study....Before i understood what my purpose here on earth was, I can honestly say there were times where i felt like crap. Wanted to be a bad ass and drink my problems away, or smoke it off, maybe even add a few cuts here and there. But that was before I really wanted to give my life up to God. I realized there is more to life than just my problems and being a rebellious bad ass. I can't say that I'm the best role-model for being a Christian, but I'm stil trying. It's hard balancing up my life and choosing the right kind of friends. Especially choosing the kinds of guys I want to date. I've gone through being cheated on, played, taken advantage of, whatever.. if you know me that well, you know a few of my stories..As good as having a boy on the side sounds, it can seem absolutely great; but really there's so many strings attached to it. I'm not trying to say " BOYS ARE BAD, I SHOULDN'T DATE EM !" I just need to be serious about them. Choose wisely because I know boy's arent a priority, just an accessory. It's hard being patient but if I have enough faith to carry on, I can do it with God's help.

Thank you, Lord!