uhh ?

For some reason, I feel really sad. I'm not even sure of why I am. I'm pretty content with life right now, but not entirely satisfied. Like.. It would be nice if I had more to life.
I completely forgot what it felt like to be in a serious "talking" relationship. Maybe that's it. I'm unsatisfied because I have no significant other. but then again, I know it's not even that ! I'm waaay better than that.
Hmmm...
I'm starting to do second thinking on cheer. I shouldn't even be doing that ! It's just I really don't want to get pulled away from the things that I usually do over the summer.. Like church retreats; Summer is usually the time where I grow closer to God, and I don't want to miss that chance especially when I need it the most.
La la la..
I'm so... I don't know how to explain it.. Melancholy, Sad, Confused, dull, upset, troubled ?

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed

Psalm 34:18

you're really lovely.

I may be hiding behind my pretty little smile, but underneath it all is something only I know...

... lmao well apparently, Desiree too. Gaaahhh

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5-6

imy

" No goodbyes, just see you later.. It aint over yet. "

-Jonathan Bonifacio c/o 2009

get your swagga going.

"Dawg, you can't even stand on your own two feet."

Chicks with dicks don't belong in my mix. Off top, you're a complete turn off.

-___-

PEACE.

Happy Birthday, KK

Swag Surfin' KK, Jerkin' Ritz, &Swag Surfin' Amee.

CHECK US OUT !

I made some cracckin' brownies(: I'm not too sure about my drawing though O.o but I herra love you KK ! Happy Birthday<3

These soles are useless without you.

I didn't realize how this school year has passed so quickly. Half way finished with High School ? When I think about it, the next September I'm going to already be starting my senior year ! Geez ! but I kinda can't wait to get out of this heezy and move in with some folks, party hard, and then the next day lay on the couch hung over(; Taaaha Nah, not really..
Well I'm super excited for my upcoming Junior year at El Camino.
Gaahh, Herra expenses :( I hate how I can't do much to help, but I'm going to promise myself that when I am able to do something, I'ma do it big and give back to my parents.
This summer is going to be jam packed with cheer. I'm so stoked for Cheer Camp at Davis though ! New experience and a great way to bond with my cheer sisters. I really hope it doesn't take me away from my family though because I don't think there's a summer where I didn't spend time with my cousins.

23 MORE DAYS till he comes home. We miss you over here, Jon.<3

Any news?
__ Naah, not much. I need to meet new folks, because the one's I'm around ain't too cute anymore -__-
Tomorrow's KK's birthday. Baked her some crackin' brownies with white chocolate in it though, holla ! :D Hopefully I make it to her party on Saturday, if not I'll be in Vallejo. But then again I can't really complain with that.
I haven't gone to Bible Study in over... A month and a half, i suppose? I really hate this feeling of being so far away from God. No matter how hard I try, I never seem to be in the genuine heart of worship. This really sucks. Hopefully we can go this upcoming Friday. OH Rawr, I don't even think I'm going to any retreats this summer either, well that's unless I find a sponsor. Gaahh. Or maybe I might go with Desiree's youth because it's only $20.

Well.. I'm out for now. 11 More school days left ! Peace.

lock 'em and load 'em.

" .. and I am torn to do what I have to. To make you mine, stay with me tonight "

So I realized that most likely I'm going to AT LEAST spend maybe a week i hope with lalala homeboy in sac; & REALLY though can we PLEASE promise no more drama !.. even though they're kinda highlights of our summer. AHAA. But the least be straight forward about our affairs. -___- EHEHEEE !

see'in you round.

" tell Amethyst that I love her and miss her and that I'm coming home soon. "

Tonton's Coming out June 12 ! Counting down the days :D
I really really do miss him. Apparently, he didn't receive any of my letters :( but its all good, I'll write one and send it with John's or something. So when he comes out I guess everyone's going to Dave and Busters? aha dude, I'm so happy ! I think he's out a month early ? Check you out ! i love you and miss you Jonathan. see you round.

scary movies suck.

You know in horror films when there's that stupid character that tries to save themselves instead of waiting for help? and you're sitting there watching, screaming at the television set because you know for a fact that there's going to be something bad coming, but you can't just get in the way and tell that character which way to go because.. it's a movie?
YEAH, RIGHT?! I believe I was a character in that kind film. I tried, obviously didn't get through, so I decided to just "step aside" and let the character make their own decision. Now I sit as the audience, watching this horrible film take action, knowing what the consequences will be; but I can't do anything about it.
It sucks to just sit there and watch while you see problems arise as you notice every decision the character shouldn't have made so they wouldn't be tangled up in the icky situation that's ahead of them.

I hope you understand clearly what you're getting yourself into. I need to realize that its not my decision, and I really should just get out of your way. I shouldn't lead you in any direction because you take the steps.

" Your sister would like me to remind you that she needs grace. Just like you need forgiveness, so does she. There comes a time in every relationship when its damaging to seek justice, when settling the score only stirs the fire. there comes a time when the best thing you can do is accept your brother and offer him the same grace you've been given. "

When I read this it made me think of you. Maybe it was just the first sentence that stuck out to me and directed it to you. I just need to let it go and let you take your own road. I'm praying that whatever choices you make, it will lead you to somewhere in God's plan so that He may work his way with you.

WANTED

I would just love to let you know that I honestly don't know what you sound, look, smell, whatever the frick there is to know about you because i haven't seen or even spoken to you on the phone in forever. Rarely any late night hypes where we'd call each other at night and talk for hella long. -__-
I'm hella homo but.. i miss you hella much, ugly ! i haven't made fun of anyone or laughed as hard as i have ever laughed with you. Eheheheek ! hahah this is to you ugly, idk if youre catching my drift with the bolds though. AHA holla.

Last seen: CHRISTMAS 2008
Name: Desiree Seisa
DOB: March 21,1992
Height: 5'3 ? she herra tall
Hair: ? (she changes it too much)
Eyes: Brown and chinky
Ethnicity: Filipino


*the ugly chaank on the left side of this picture

Corona and Lime - Shwayze

Life of a swim manager

Today was hella crazy. I have never ever ever gotten left behind at school; Well not just me, Heather and Stacy too ! lol We were supposed to hitch a ride with Ryan, but he had a frickin chiropractic appointment so heather's mom picked us up because she told her that "a swimmer was left behind" LOL The PAL meet was pretty awesome. herraaaaa cuties at Terra Nova. Kinda wish i went to a white school. LOL Got my eye on a tiger. Holla ! Today was hecka fun over all. Just waiting on a random number to text me so it can top everything off(;

Cupcake no fillin' ?

I'm a sucka for anything. Ugh, I hella gave in . Just let me know where we're at one time because it's not my usual that I kiss guys i don't 'talk' to. -____-



"Pacquiao put Hatton to sleep. Sang him a little lullaby called 'here's my left' !" BOOM ! Pacquiao hella won ! hahah KTFO before the 2nd round even ended? -- hella beast. Yeah, i didn't watch it live because my parents are weird o.O but I did watch it on the internet. lmfao same ish.
i'm outeezy.