I have mix emotions today. A whole lot of being lazy and sick, a tint of being satisfied, but you know I'm never really content with anything, oh and being pissed as ever !
Idk. Maybe these are the results of staying home and not doing anything but watching TV and doing nothing but nothing on the Internet. I need a life ! ha ha For sure, spring break this year is not the business. I'm sure I'm not going to be making my way to Sac, but I'm still trying to go to Vallejo since its half as close.
Okay, back to not being satisfied. I was going through my Bible this morning and I starting to read what I highlighted in Ecclesiastes. I read chapters 1 and 2 to find that everything was so blunt ! but oh so true ! "No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are not content. (Ecclesiastes 1:8)" I don't think there has ever been a time in my life where I felt like I was in the positions to say I was fully complacent. "But as I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless--like chasing the wind. There was nothing really worthwhile anywhere. (Ecclesiastes 2:11)" Yeah, I merely had days when I said I was at ease and happy but when the next day came it was another cycle of wanting to be fine again. Sometimes I felt that my life was useless and it had no meaning. Well, I knew my life had a meaning but I couldn't clearly see what it was. I guess you can say to this day its not crystal clear for me to understand exactly what God intends for me to do. But as I was reading, I realized that sometimes God puts us in positions where we feel distressed or restless to test our faith.
Since barely anything consumed my time, I began to examine myself. Honest to say I'm not doing well in my walk with God. I saw that I didn't put God in the complete center of my life. I tend to try to find happiness without His help because sometimes I feel independent enough that I can do things on my own. In the long run I never get what was my intention haha because that's how it always is for me, but as I look back I try to restrict myself from doing the same impediment decisions. Someone told me that our faith shouldn't be based on rules and restriction, but its with making the right decisions.
I know this book in the Bible wasn't meant to bring you down because if you read on it teaches you that you should live your life as happily and joyfully as possible with having God the center of everything. Without Him in our decisions in life we would be useless--Like chasing the wind. Aha I guess it makes you think twice when someone gives you encouraging words saying that.
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