no "goodbye's" just "see you around's"

"tomorrow's not promised..."

friCk ! ='( omg ! this sucks so badly. I'm not even worrying over a guy relationship or anything anmore. It's about my friend. Ugh ! So I met him my freshman year through my cousin. haha He was trying to get at me because he thought I was " cute " and I thought it was cute that he was trying. I guess you can say we were talking for a little. I think he had a crush on me that whole year ! I really admired him though. He was actually a good friend and someone nice to talk to. Aww i remember He was my Valentine; even though he wasnt the first pick. That really sucked because the guy who really was my valentine totally didnt even get me anything and he ended up being a jerk few weeks later... Then later on that year he asked me to go to Junior Prom with him. It was so cute the way he asked me because we had fourth period right next to each other and we would always hang out before the bell rang. One day he gives me a note and of course i'm like " wth is this ? haha " but he tells me not to open it until I leave so right after I left I opened the note on the way to getting to my seat and it says " Amethyst, Will you go to Junior Prom with me? <3 Jonathan " THAT WAS THE CUTEST EVER . UGH ! I still hecka wish I went with him, but my parents said no. He promised me he would take me to his Senior Ball though, so that was really good (because my parents said I couldnt go to any of these Balls/Proms until I was a sophomore). This year we still talk. He waits for me after 5th period and we walk to my 6th period class every day ! I like it because it shows he hella cares for me.. Lately he hasnt been making the wisest choices. He's been getting into a lot of drama and it may concern him not even graduating from el camino. It really makes me sad because I care for him a lot. I'm not sure if I have feelings for him. Maybe I do ? If I do like him then I totally regret blowing him off for jerks. He was there for me through ALL the bad relationships, and I never really saw that.
So he texted me yesterday saying "iono is this is the last time i get to talk to yu maybe on thursday or somthin but i jus wana say ima miss you and ill cyu round " that totally made me wonder what was going on. He told me he might be getting locked up and he said he doesnt know if he'll be seeing me as much anymore.

(10:17:24 PM): hopefully i get to see yuh in tha morning
(10:17:56 PM): omg im gonna be sad.
(10:18:21 PM): nah dnt be
(10:18:27 PM): ill be around
(10:18:50 PM): but what if youre not ? =(
(10:19:05 PM): dnt worry
(10:19:07 PM): i will
(10:19:47 PM): you better be. hahah
(10:19:58 PM): hahah i promise
(10:20:17 PM): but tomarrow if you get to school early let me know so i could say my goodbyes
(10:20:28 PM): -__-
(10:20:36 PM): nooo goodbyes !
(10:20:59 PM): just " see you around's "
(10:21:18 PM): yah alright we'll call it that

I'll admit I was crying when we were talking. I really care about him, and if he does get locked up i'm really going to miss him a lot ! I dont want him to go! I hate how i never really noticed how much I cared about him till I find out he's bound to leave for a long time. Maybe I like him ? Or Maybe I just care about him a lot. I'm just praying for the best.


*Free Mikey !

the rest was up to you..

<3why don't we hit restart and pause it at our favorite parts...

confuzzled ?

I miss you. I think ? Not like things are any different. Just the status. I'll admit I did fall too fast. Never usually happens..Wait it has happend before, but not usually. I still have that unsatisfied feeling that there is still things I want to say, its just i don't know what it is. I don't want you to feel bad because i don't really care. This is something I most definitely shouldn't be worrying about. Don't baby me because I can take care of myself. Maybe I'm mad ? I know I'm past sad though. I was used to not talking to you. Only seeing you once a week or even less. I'm glad i had my close friends and family by my side to help me realize what I was doing wrong. Haaa & If it wasn't for them, I probably wouldn't be feeling this way right now. Maybe we would have still been "talking" but in a wrong way. I would taking every wrong turn and turn every problem into an excuse; like waiting patiently until you realized I was still there behind you the whole time, waiting to see if you really noticed that I was going to be there for you always. but I don't think you did until i finally told you how much it sucked to be just a girl on the side. I hate catching the feelings too fast. I wanted something to come out of this relationship. Or maybe something will come out. Just not yet. I hate how I say I can do things, but when it gets to the point I totally freak out and never do what was intended. Like totally wanting a friendship before a relationship ? Yeah never worked out. I'm still waiting for someone like that to come by. Maybe there is someone under my nose. I just feel like crap. I really want us to be still be FRIENDS,like we agreed on; but I honestly don't know what that is between me and you because we never experienced it. We skipped that big step and went into the loveyduvey junk. Not good not good not good because "true love waits." Just want you to know I'll always be here for you, and I miss you.. Ahh frick, i hate hiding my feelings, it sucks.